Day 9

I drove around the coast of Maine yesterday for a little while, trying to actually get to some place to see the ocean - but i kept running into dead ends and private roads and never actually saw anything. I was so tired and frustrated that I just gave up and drove around aimlessly. I ended up in Brunswick. As I was driving through town I spotted a record store. I was determined to have a real conversation with a real person - and maybe make a friend. So I walked in and became immediately socially retarded. I think a week on my own made me stupid or something. I could barely walk up to the clerk to ask about a stupid release date for something. gah. I left feeling dejected and embarrassed with myself. What happened to me?? I used to be able to talk to anyone. grrrrr...

So then I thought I would try to find a place to eat lobster. I was so scared that I kept driving past restaurants, despite the fact that I was starving. I went to a grocery store instead and bought some fruit and a bunch of junk food. Then I repacked and organized my whole car. Then I finally decided to try to find a restaurant again (all the while telling myself it's only seafood, not the end of the world). I pulled into a restaurant that I had read about in a local newspaper. The Muddy Rudder. I was aware that lobster was expensive, and I almost talked myself out of it because of that fact. But I also told myself that I was probably never going to be in Maine again (I didn't find it impressive at all) and I needn't ever have lobster again. So I ordered. $30 later, I was pretty disgusted by the whole process. I choked down the whole thing because I didn't want to waste my money. There were a couple parts that weren't all that bad. Mostly it was the texture that made me feel sick to my stomach. ick.
I am a bit proud of myself for trying something new (I am definitely NOT adventurous when it comes to food), however I didn't really enjoy the experience. hahaha

My friend Jen had called while I was at the restaurant. I was soooo grateful to hear her voice. She let me know that she was back in town and I was totally welcome to crash at her place in NH. So the minute I left the restaurant, I was on the road to Manchester. I cannot even begin to tell you how good it is to see her. We lived together in London at the Carleton Grange. We had tons of fun there - and she was sitting next to me the first time I ever saw James. We both drooled over him (and our lecturer, Guy Westwell). The strangest thing is that even though I haven't seen Jen in 5 years, we picked up like we had just hung out last week.

I don't think either of us stopped talking for 6 hours. We both spilled out everything that had happened over the last 5 years. We made a late night Wal-mart run in Concord (looking for cheeseballs - I don't think they make the Planters cheeseballs in the blue can anymore, can't find them anywhere!!!). We got pulled over by the cops. We stayed up till 3am (she had to go to work at 8). I was telling her about being fired from my job in December and she was super excited to hear that I had box office experience - one of her closest friends is the box office manager of a venue here. Immediately she was trying to talk me into staying in NH. She told me she had just had a break down in front of her mom, wanting to move back to CT because she had no friends with similar interests here in NH. And then she said "and all of a sudden you show up!!" Well, we will see about that one. I'm just glad I popped back into her life at the moment when she needed me around the most. I will stay a couple days because it's so good to see her. And I will apply for the box office job just because it would be the next right thing to do in this moment. However the outcome is up to the universe. If I'm meant to stay, I will. If not, I'll go to where I'm needed next. All told, it's a good day :)