They Say the Parking Lots are Run by the Mafia

Alright, so here's the deal. I missed out on buying Eddie Izzard tickets because they were already sold out before I moved to Tampa. So I had been periodically checking CL and eBay for tickets. Sunday evening someone listed a single ticket on eBay for Wednesday's show. I emailed him through eBay begging for him to sell it to me with a Buy-it-Now price. How I got so damn lucky (or unlucky?), I'll never know. He emailed back and told me I seemed cool and he would sell the ticket to me at face value. Hot damn! I was ecstatic - finally - Eddie Izzard live! Brian (that's his name, duh) later told me he had looked at my eBay profile and saw that I liked BlackBooks and that's what sold him on selling me the ticket. Thank god I was bored that one day that I filled out my eBay profile (who actually does that??)!

So anyhow, we decide to meet up at the show and I drove around looking for parking for a while. Finally I saw a sign that said "All Day $3.25" There were a dozen other people already parked there. It was a lot with a pay machine where you display your receipt in the windshield. The machine took my credit card and charge me $4 (lying sign) to park. I put the receipt in my windshield and went to the show.

Eddie was hilarious, just like I expected. My throat was raw and I almost lost my voice from laughing out loud. I told Brian I couldn't stick around to try to meet the Izz because I was exhausted after working so much lately. He said he wanted to be a gentleman and walk me to my car. I thought that was nice enough, and we walked and talked on the way to the lot where I parked. As we were approaching, I commented that it was crazy that everyone left so quickly - that the lot was nearly empty. And then I realized with horror that the lot was empty. There was a security guard that was letting people know where their cars were towed to (3 blocks down the street). He didn't work for the lot or the tow truck company, but was just trying to help people out. He walked over and showed me the sign that had in very small print with no lighting "No Parking After 8pm With or Without a Receipt." GRRRRRRRR

We got to the tow company and I was ready to rip someone's head off. They wanted $169 cash to get my car back. Exact cash. They wouldn't give change. They wouldn't take a check. No credit cards. Even if they had taken those things, I still didn't have the money. I nearly threw a fit but held my tongue and asked for the company's information. I then called the police. They told me to ask for the name of who authorized the tow, and whether or not they have a contract with the towing company. She then told me to keep all my receipts and take them to court.

Thank you, Brian, for walking with me and keeping me from strangling someone. He actually told me to not worry about paying him for the ticket - which is super kind of him, but I just can't accept that. I told him I would pay him when I had money - and he said sure but I should just drop the pride and let him help me out. haha!

Mel picked me up and stopped at an ATM to get me $10 so I could take a cab to work the following day. I then called my dad and asked for (even more) money. He was able to get the money to me in the morning and I woke Amanda up and asked for a ride downtown. She dropped me off and they let me in and walked me to Charlie (who I'm sure was pissed off that I left him overnight with a bunch of slimeballs). Once we got to the car, the guy asked to see my registration. WROOPS! No registration because the state of Florida hasn't mailed it to me yet!! The guy then turned into a total smug prick. He started mocking me. He was scoffing at my questions. He was insulting my intelligence. Another guy came over and said "where's your plate transfer?" and I said I didn't have one. He then got all patronizing and asked "well what were you driving before?" and I then lost my shit. I am not proud to say I shouted some pretty ridiculous things at these two high school dropouts. Of course I didn't have a plate transfer because I just moved here from Wisconsin, you fuck bag. How could I possibly transfer Wisconsin plates in Florida? How on earth am I supposed to have the title if the dealership hadn't sent it in yet? So frustrating, and absolutely helpless.

I called Amanda to pick me back up and as she was asking why, one of the guys made some shitty remark toward me and I went off on a rant again. As I grabbed my keys and license back from the guy, I turned and spit on the ground near their feet. Melanie laughed when I told her this - something about the gypsy coming out in me, and how European that was - but it was better than clocking him in the jaw.

Amanda took me back to my place where I dug out a receipt with the VIN number and my name on it, so I could prove it was my vehicle and then we drove all the way back downtown. I walked up sheepishly and began to apologize to the guys for unloading on them when a third walked up on the telephone saying "yeah, I see her. she looks like a real...." and then interrupted me to say "if you do anything out of line I have no problem calling the police and having them arrest you right now. See these cameras? I have on film that you spit on my employees. I could have you arrested for battery right now." and then I said I was just trying to apologize, to which he replied "I don't give a shit about what you have to say. You give him your keys and then act like a lady" -- this angered me more than anything else that was said the whole day and previous evening. But this time I bit my tongue and didn't say another word until I was off the lot. Fuck. What a horrid day. I'm totally hormonal and emotional and a complete psychotic mess, but at least I have my car back.