2.03.2009

Arctic Blast?

Why is it that I think I have blogged when I have actually done nothing? Is it because I sit around and think about writing things all day that I imagine I've put pen to paper in reality? Whatever it is, it's gotta stop!
Seriously, I just filled up my journal and I was flipping back through the pages over the last year and a half and noticed random notes scribbled in the margins during late night "brain spurts." I will be falling asleep sometimes and think of some really good phrase or an idea for a story, so I grab whatever is closest to me and write it down (which always happens to be my journal next to my bed). Problem is, I never go back and read them. I really need to come up with a system for organizing my notes, thoughts and ideas. I used to have this hand held tape recorder. That would probably be good now. But then again, I can use voice notes on my phone and I don't. I actually found some recordings on my old sim card from concerts I forgot I attended.

My brain is obviously swimming with all these story lines and half-formed thoughts for my books and blogs, yet I never seem to produce anything substantial. Does that happen to any of you? It's so frustrating because I know if I could actually get myself to do what it is my brain keeps telling me to do, I would be successful at it. Maybe that's what's stopping me. I don't know what successful looks like. Maybe I don't want to be successful because it's easier for me to be a loser.

Anyway, all these scattered thoughts over books and notebooks will have to be dealt with. Why is it that I finally make a resolve to do something grand just as I'm starting work again? Is it that whole failure, self-sabotage thing? Somebody please tell me to pull my thumb out and start going through my journals and organizing things!

By the way, the title is because the newscasters here are babbling on and on about this "arctic chill" that will be coming through Florida. Tomorrow night it will be 30 in Tampa. Oh no! 2 degrees below freezing. I think it's hilarious how there are all these major weather warnings out for the county I live in, all because the temp is approaching 0 Celsius. (Although I did complain earlier when I rode my bike to the Post Office and I didn't have gloves.) Anyway, laugh it up Northerners. Yes, sunny Florida is getting frost.

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