ebay mania

It has been almost a year since I left Milwaukee. I am starting to feel that pull again from the middle of my gut. It's this strange sensation that's telling me to not get too attached to things and be ready for change.

Both of my roommates are unemployed at the moment. I was notified that the photo shoot I was booked to work on in June has been canceled. Neither of the catalogs I work for are making money. It's looking like May will be my last bit of employment. I've already made plans to work at Summerfest in Milwaukee this June.

With the sneaky suspicion that I could be out of a job, I've begun preparing for what that would mean. I'm downsizing once again, and getting ready to head out if need-be. Mostly because I need to have as little as possible to be able to stay in a very cheap room. I'm a little scared, but also excited at what the future could bring. It's been too long in this city that doesn't interest me much. I love my friends here. I've made a lot of personal progress. But something is telling me I'm not supposed to stay. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'm busy listing things that I've had since the 90s on eBay. I found a box of Beanie Babies, Jurassic Park collectibles and NKOTB memorabilia that I'm working my way through at the moment. I'm getting rid of the rest of my CDs and DVDs (except the essential MUSE, Editors, Travis and Mew collection and my LOST DVDs). I have all the music on my hard drive. I've got all the DVDs on my hard drive as well. I don't own a CD player anymore, and my DVD player broke... so why keep them?

It's been a weird couple weeks. I've grown less and less attached to my things. They aren't me. They aren't even my memories. I keep those with me. Some things may remind me of who I am and what I have seen and done, but if I've got a picture of it, I don't necessarily need to keep the physical object. It's been like I'm shedding a layer of skin. I'm letting go of things and know I'm alright with who I am and the people I love. I don't need much in this world, but I do need to give and receive love. Sometimes things get in the way of that need.

Anyway, I'm not making any rash decisions, just to let you know... I'm planning in my my own roundabout way. Like I said, I have work until May. I'll be back in Milwaukee for a visit in April, and then back to work at Summerfest in June. Hope you are all well.