tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post8206504642826568252..comments2014-05-06T09:44:44.907-05:00Comments on Serendipitous Wanderings: Living NightmareVegahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12360015747116360158noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post-77715202755415141242010-01-15T12:22:11.609-06:002010-01-15T12:22:11.609-06:00Hello, you may or may not remember me. I be Troy&#...Hello, you may or may not remember me. I be Troy's friend Heather. Anywho, in August of 2008 I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Severe Panic Disorder and ADHD. I had started seeing a Psychotherapist and a Therapist due to crippling anxiety/panic attacks and having what I now know to be a manic episode. They didn't know that I was bipolar at first so they gave me Lexapro, an SSRI. First rule of bipolar disorder - NEVER TAKE AN SSRI. It sent me into a state of mania and that's how we found out that I be Bipolar. <br /><br />Accepting this was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to to. Accepting the fact that I had to start taking medication was the HARDEST. My mother has been addicted to pills since before I was born. I was terrified of them and still am. But after months of not being able to control my own brain, and finally, stepping in front of a moving car, I reluctantly tried them. After Lexapro came Abilify. Abilify fucked up my brain so bad that I can't even remember that time period. I was only on it for 2 weeks. Then came what I am currently on - Lamictal - an anti-convulsant. It gave me my brain back. <br /><br />Everyday I toy with the idea of going off of my medication so that one day I can be medication-free. BUT I know that it is likely I will have to take this medication for a majority of my life. And that fucking sucks. I hate relying on a pill to be "normal" aka functional. I started a blog about it and it deals with my whole experience.<br /><br />I was anti medication for a very, very long time. I still don't like the fact that I'm dependent on it. But then I remember what if felt like to have my own brain attack me. I remember my mania and that moment where I know I had lost complete control of my mind. I never, ever want to experience that ever again. One day I will go off the meds but I know that for right now, it's ok that I'm on them. And that's incredibly hard to say. SOMETIMES medication can work. I'm incredibly lucky that it did for me. Thought, cognitive behavior therapy also helped me gain control of me head again. <br /><br />Ha... this is as long as your post... lol Read me blog if you want, it describes everything. I'm sorry you're going through this because I know what it's like not to be able to control your own brain. It fucking sucks.NerdOneirikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10687745562722453563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post-29731877335607600362009-07-18T22:02:13.779-05:002009-07-18T22:02:13.779-05:00Hi
I was also on Paxil (or Aropax as its known in ...Hi<br />I was also on Paxil (or Aropax as its known in Australasia) a few years ago for several months I also suffered moderate to severe withdrawal symptoms when trying to stop taking them.<br /><br />After 3 months of trying to reduce the dosage without bringing on the symptoms I got so frustrated with the process that I decided to stop cold turkey and just deal with the withdrawal symptoms until they finished.<br /><br />There was approx 3 to 4 weeks of full on withdrwal effects most days, with a large number of days where I could not go to work.<br />After that there was another 3 to 4 weeks of intermittent symptoms then they faded off completely.<br /><br />It was tough but it was WORTH IT. It was weird having an 'addiction' knowing that at any stage if i just took one little pill i would feel Normal again for 12 hours. But i was never truly tempted as I just wanted that CRAP stuff out of my system for good<br /><br />On a second topic, for panic attacks/anxiety, try propanolol. It works on the physical symptoms of anxiety/panic by reducing the adrenal production. Which means you dont get the racing heart, shaking, palpitations. So therefore has no impact on your ability to function normally, like sedatives do, and dont have the side effects antidepressants can have.<br /><br /><br />I wish you all the best for whatever decisions you make. When I read your story all I could think of was how much courage you have. Good luck<br /><br />MonMonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05079930282354204006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post-21434127950440221462009-06-02T19:48:16.332-05:002009-06-02T19:48:16.332-05:00Oh Vega, I'm so sorry. You're so amazing, I had no...Oh Vega, I'm so sorry. You're so amazing, I had no idea what you've dealt with, thank you for trusting us with this. I love you. I'm sending you lots of daily hugs from Portland.Trinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13514433346809117297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post-15693950281896711932009-06-02T11:37:02.716-05:002009-06-02T11:37:02.716-05:00I must have taken and extraordinary amount of cour...I must have taken and extraordinary amount of courage to speak about all that. I admire you more than I already did. I am sorry for the the nightmare the system put you through. I worry that you are not just one case that went awry, but that many other's have suffered the same.<br /><br />I myself deal and have dealt with anxiety and panic issues my entire life. It took me 6 years to graduate high school because I was so frequently absent due to fear. I too have been and am currently on Paxil. It seems to be the only drug that helps. I've done Efexior and Wellbutrin as well but they were worthless.<br /><br />And coicidentally enough I am currently out of town without my meds and expect some withdrawals to begin.<br /><br />Again, kudos for opening up. We all care about you and you don't have to go it alone. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need ANYTHING.Rabid Nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11517190282501284662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post-64189757286000428632009-06-01T23:49:15.176-05:002009-06-01T23:49:15.176-05:00Vega,
Thank you for sharing your living nightmare...Vega,<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your living nightmare with so much courage, strength and hope. You are an inspiration. Wishing you plenty belly laughs and a swim in the twinkly sea.<br /><br />Love and light<br />Jamesjterry11007https://www.blogger.com/profile/00933001993260650096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2287527660562591798.post-30562246720931014782009-06-01T19:24:48.040-05:002009-06-01T19:24:48.040-05:00Huge props to you for being able to share your sto...Huge props to you for being able to share your story. I agree, I think drugs meant to help us are just hurting us. Wish I could give some words of encouragement, but I don't think there's much to say. I guess I'll just give you a hug next time I see you :)Shanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02149052703484342312noreply@blogger.com